Monday, April 2, 2012

The Adventures of moving a Couch

Picture this..

You go with your husband and buy a new couch set. It's lovely.
Kids haven't destroyed it (yet) and you'd love for it to stay that way for at least a week, two if you're freaking brilliant and the stars align just so, and your kids aren't out to get you for something. (Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.)


^ Love Seat                                                            ^ Couch

You bring it home, and you make the big mistake of forgetting about the hell you went through to bring the first set in when you moved in.

You do in fact manage to get it inside the house. On the main floor. Where your kids go ape shit bat crazy and destroy things.

So, you plan your attack for a few days. Did I mention that you managed to convince your in laws to take two of the kids for the weekend?

Well, it's obvious the weekend is over. That set needs to get out of harms way before it's too late. The baby has already managed to pee on it. (Sigh).
You need it to get into the den and pronto.

So, you attempt to move it through your upstairs livingroom, into the landing and down the stairs. Shit. The couch is too wide to fit through the damn door at the top of the stairs at the landing.

Plan B comes into action.  You remove the front door AND the side door. You bring the couch back through the livingroom, and forget how you brought it in through the front door to begin with. You stand and ponder for twenty minutes or so. (Really, you're already exhausted a need a break. You really aren't thinking anything but F&CK ME, is this over yet?!)

You finally manage to get it back outside the house, in one piece.  (Insert round of applause here, please).

This is the point in the story where your husband tells you that it won't fit through the side yard door. You have to lift it over your head. (This is where the cursing your husband happens)

So, you get it over the fence, into the yard.  You're now at the door leading inside to the landing with the door thats too small, and a tight corner leading downstairs.

Again, you try to regroup and plan an attack.

And fail. Miserably.

And that's when you realize you could have squeezed that couch through that doorway that was too small half an hour ago. You round the corner and end up back in your livingroom.

Where your new couch set is destined to be destroyed. Within the week.

True story.


  1. Princess AnastasiaApril 2, 2012 at 11:55 PM

    Oh you poor thing!  I'm feeling so bad for you right now!  I think you need to take a pic of said sofa every other day, and keep a journal of its slow transcendence into the pit of no return.  You could make a 'flip book'.  ;o)

  2. Bahahaha! Been there done that...we should get T-Shirts :-)

  3. Princess AnastasiaApril 2, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    Just think - you, 60 yrs from now, in your rocker down at the retirement home, flipping thru your flip book, cackling like mad, while the orderlies shake their heads in fear you've gone round the bend.

  4. Know the feeling :S lol

  5. I have to be 60 before people fear I've gone round the bend? :/

  6. My husband & I long ago decided that we wouldn't have any new furniture until the kids (and freaking cats) were out of the house. I can't take the stress.

  7. I'm certain you just blogged about my house. :-)

  8. WOW, been there but then they realized the back came off the couch after they already tore it in the doorway. Good thing it was the delivery guys got another couch next day.The TV when we moved was not so lucky who knew it was that heavy.

  9. We waited til the KIDS were big enough to do all the lifting and then they also took better care of it once it got into the house .:-)

  10. problem is.. would you like to sit on a pee & juice, barf, other random things stained couch? lol

    No thanks :D

  11. yup...why don't they make it mandatory that door frames should be wider !!