Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Fair well, River of Denial

I'm stomping my feet tonight.  I didn't want to leave that comfy river of denial.  I didn't.  I know I needed too. I did it.  It still sucks.

This morning, I took Matthew (7yr old) to a follow up appointment with his psychologist.  At the end, I asked some questions about the referral process here (we're in a fairly new city to us). For Noah (3yr old).  For an ASD evaluation.  *sigh*

It's hard to know if he's mimicking behaviours he's grown up watching his brother do, or if he really does fall on the spectrum.

Some days, he appears so neurotypical.  Other days... well, not so much.

The covering his ears at normal sounds, the demands to cut all tags out of his clothes, screaming that they hurt. The speech regression he had around 18mos.  The demands to have things the same way... It feels like an all to familiar path.  One even though we've walked, and are still walking with Matthew, still seems so foreign.  So uncomfortable. Down right scary even.

On the plus side (I guess if I need to find the silver lining this is it), Matthews doctor asked that we bring Noah with us to Matthews next follow up appointment in six weeks.  We're truly by passing a huge wait list, and for that I'm grateful.  I have no clue what he'll do with Noah at the next appointment.  I'm sure afterwards I'll be cussing and screaming some more.

I'm still confused why the only question he asked was "Is he clumsy?"

It sucks going down this path in an unfamiliar city too. At least in our old city, I knew the process, the contacts. I knew the doctors, I knew what to expect.  Here I don't. I feel like a fish flapping on dry land.  Not sure where to go, or who to call.

This fucking sucks donkey balls.

(Yes, I just really said that.)


  1. ((HUGS)) I feel your pain. You're an awesome Mamma and no matter the outcome your kids will be OK...because they have you <3 <3 <3 

  2. I'm guessing the clumsy question was to query dyspraxia? Sorry to hear you're starting out on a familiar road but with a new and unfamiliar team. It truely does suck going with a second child but on the plus side, if there are issues there, the younger you get started with intervention the better. You are a fab mum and you'll get through this (((hugs)))

  3. Both my ASD kids are clumsy...My son with high functioning autism has a distinctive gait when he walks and his muscle tone is probably not the best. I have a 11 year old that we suspect is on the spectrum and whilst going through junk etc this week I found a OT assesment of him  when he was 4 that he had low muscle tone. My aspie is the same although he has strengthened his muscles by bouncing on the trampoline. But overall all of my boys on the spectrum  are  'clumsy'. Teriann is right though. They will be ok because they have you as a mother! <3

  4. Hugs!  Just last night hubby and I were talking about Aspergers - think it is time to broach the subject with the doc for us too

  5. Call Early Words and they can set up a referral. You see a speech path and they will give you recommendations for each child individually.