Saturday, January 14, 2012

What hurts the most

As the days pass by, and more ex-members of a4 share their stories with me, I'm left with my heart heavy and hurting.

Late last night, another mama and blogger posted her thoughts and feelings.  (linky-do)
I am not near as eloquent as she, but she puts to words what a lot of us are feeling.  Questions we'd like answered.

Previous to that, two other mama posted their thoughts and feelings on their blogs as well (linky-do 1, linky-do 2 - she has several posts, so make sure to check them all out.)

These are woman who worked so hard to help build a4 as a community. Helped those who have now deleted and blocked us from their friends list become recognized, so that they too could get an iPad (Part of the rules are to actively participate).

I wish I had the words to explain to all of you how much this has hurt. Deep down to our cores.  To learn that some of who we considered to be our friends, that you're calling us names behind our backs, some at least have the decency to do it to our faces.

There is this huge divide and I wish I could find the words to express to you still on the other side why it is we are fighting so hard.  We use humour as protection, but still, then our humour is turned on us.  (PS, we spell humour in Canada this way, it's not a friggin typo! - See comic relief!).

I understand peoples desire to protect a4, and Gary James. I understand your innocent until proven guilty.

What I don't understand is how you can turn your backs on your friends, on people you called family? People you had daily conversations with? Even if you do not agree with their belief.. whatever happened to agree to disagree?

How you allow someone to dictate to you who you can and cannot be friends with? (He has said, anyone who is friends with any of us will not be getting any help from him!)

How you can stand by and watch this same person vilify these same people? These people who helped him build his community to what it is?

How you sit by quietly while those he promised apps to (50/50/50 tour) are now being denied those apps because he's angry at them. For asking questions for pete sakes!

How you can sit back and condone his behaviour on this blog, on twitter and on facebook.

It truly baffles my mind.  Even if I didn't know all that I know, if I saw a friend being hurt this way, you're darn right I would be there standing up for my friend! Going hey! WTF!  You don't treat people that way!

Some of you claim that we're drama seekers, or attention seekers, or something equally as foolish.  Have you stopped to think that man, this can't be easy for them either? Maybe they're telling us this stuff over and over and over again because they really do care?

I have been asked why do I keep blogging about this, why don't I just leave well enough alone? The answer is because I care.  Even though I am hurt, and I could easily walk away, I care.  Even about those who have deleted and blocked me.
Even if you don't agree, I feel as though you are being taken advantage of.  I do not wish anybody to be taken advantage of. Even those who I don't know.

So I'll keep googling.  I'll keep blogging.  Until we all get answers to these questions. 


  1. Awesome blog post my friend...Thank you for telling our side of the story <3

  2. Beautiful. Thank you for expressing what we're all feeling. I love your heart. 

  3. Well said.  ((((hugs)))

  4. That has been the most surprising thing for me, the blind faith and willingness to allow a stranger to dictate their friendships. How 1 man with just a Facebook page has amassed so much influential power to persuade smart people to participate in a mob mentality and attack their brothers and sister in the SN community, and for what reason; because they were naive enough to believe they could openly ask questions pertaining to their hard earned $$$$ they donated to this masterful manipulator of half truths, assumptions, and our overwhelming desire to find that magically something to miraculously help our children. I was looking for the assistive technology to help my son, I wanted to hope that an iPad and the appropriate apps would allow us to dreams of an independent and productive future for my son. I quickly realized that I was unable to play the necessary games to win an iPad but I could earn an iPad. I pounced on the opportunity offered by Kyle at Mobile Education, I earned my iPad with all the calls, promoting, and walking into the various state offices. I got the word out. I have found my place on Facebook and it is far removed from A4cwsn. But I found true friends, real support, educated resources, and most importantly love and kindness.

  5. You need to do what you feel is right. I don't feel like we should protect anyone when it comes to having someone attack you and your family. What I do think is that no matter what is said about you by another person, fight fair. You need to remember not to stoop to their level of name calling. It is fantastic to make sure that everyone's eyes are wide open and that they have all of the information necessary to make an informed decision. You have provided a fantastic service to all of us Mamas and Daddy's alike to be sure to protect ourselves and for that, I thank you.

  6. So many have been hurt and so many have lost friends :( ((HUGS)) Thank you for being so strong and brave to stand up to this!

  7. I've seen this behaviour also Tiffany. Those  A4 friends that have stayed as 'friends' on my FB page are friends in name only. They no longer comment on my page and if I write something on their page like how are you today  they don't answer me directly rather in a PM as if they don't want others to know they are having anything to do with me. And these were close friends! I had one friend who after I shared a link to Tiffany's blog like it on my page!. By the end of the day the like was gone. So really is it a friendship at all? Is a man making money from special needs kids worth it? Is a man who banned a woman from A4cwsn Australia simply because she is friends openly with several of us who were banned and blocked worth it. Her son needed an ipad and would have been top of the list with the sunsuper win if it had not been for that arrogant bastard .?? I have not gone out of my way to judge those who have stayed on A4 pages...I understand people are desperate. But it is horrible when people who you don't know, people who weren't even your facebook friends  block you on Facebook so that I can't even see their comments simply because I was banned, blocked , named and shamed publicly on A4cwsn by Gary James. Like Tiffany I won't stop until I have an answer. All we asked for was transparency and for him to treat people with human dignity. What we got was after being banned by Gary James was  threats of lawyers and constant harrasment and abuse. One might well ask why is he so worried about transparency?? He may well be giving out ipads to favourites and those who participate in silly games, and not to those who truly need them but ultimately I believe he is making a hell of a lot more $$ than he gives out. A4cwsn is a business pure and simple! If he had been transparent this could have been cleared up a long time ago!