What hurts the most

As the days pass by, and more ex-members of a4 share their stories with me, I'm left with my heart heavy and hurting.

Late last night, another mama and blogger posted her thoughts and feelings.  (linky-do)
I am not near as eloquent as she, but she puts to words what a lot of us are feeling.  Questions we'd like answered.

Previous to that, two other mama posted their thoughts and feelings on their blogs as well (linky-do 1, linky-do 2 - she has several posts, so make sure to check them all out.)

These are woman who worked so hard to help build a4 as a community. Helped those who have now deleted and blocked us from their friends list become recognized, so that they too could get an iPad (Part of the rules are to actively participate).

I wish I had the words to explain to all of you how much this has hurt. Deep down to our cores.  To learn that some of who we considered to be our friends, that you're calling us names behind our backs, some at least have the decency to do it to our faces.

There is this huge divide and I wish I could find the words to express to you still on the other side why it is we are fighting so hard.  We use humour as protection, but still, then our humour is turned on us.  (PS, we spell humour in Canada this way, it's not a friggin typo! - See comic relief!).

I understand peoples desire to protect a4, and Gary James. I understand your innocent until proven guilty.

What I don't understand is how you can turn your backs on your friends, on people you called family? People you had daily conversations with? Even if you do not agree with their belief.. whatever happened to agree to disagree?

How you allow someone to dictate to you who you can and cannot be friends with? (He has said, anyone who is friends with any of us will not be getting any help from him!)

How you can stand by and watch this same person vilify these same people? These people who helped him build his community to what it is?

How you sit by quietly while those he promised apps to (50/50/50 tour) are now being denied those apps because he's angry at them. For asking questions for pete sakes!

How you can sit back and condone his behaviour on this blog, on twitter and on facebook.

It truly baffles my mind.  Even if I didn't know all that I know, if I saw a friend being hurt this way, you're darn right I would be there standing up for my friend! Going hey! WTF!  You don't treat people that way!

Some of you claim that we're drama seekers, or attention seekers, or something equally as foolish.  Have you stopped to think that man, this can't be easy for them either? Maybe they're telling us this stuff over and over and over again because they really do care?

I have been asked why do I keep blogging about this, why don't I just leave well enough alone? The answer is because I care.  Even though I am hurt, and I could easily walk away, I care.  Even about those who have deleted and blocked me.
Even if you don't agree, I feel as though you are being taken advantage of.  I do not wish anybody to be taken advantage of. Even those who I don't know.

So I'll keep googling.  I'll keep blogging.  Until we all get answers to these questions. 

Just the Facts

Wow, I cannot believe the response my recent blog posts have had. Especially yesterday's.  I cannot believe the comments left!

I started blogging about these issues to hopefully help show other special needs parents the truth about a4cwsn.  To help protect them. I know they probably feel as though they don't need my protection. I disagree. More than ever do I disagree.

For those of you who haven't yet had an opportunity to look at the previous blog posts and comments sections, here are some pretty pictures.  Keep in mind, these are just a few of the comments off just the last blog post (linky-do), this does not include comments from any of  the others.  Gary/his wife's comments are marked with a black square around them. (Please note the first comment where it is confirmed that its Garys wife/Gary- the writing styles and information being posted are too similar to Gary's style to not be him, in my opinion).

 I would like to take this opportunity to ask all of you who have been following my posts to really ask yourself if what is being posted by the "great leader" really makes you feel confident in him? Do you really wish to support someone who can spew out the venomous statements they have made over the course of the past little while?

Do you really condone this behaviour? Do you truly believe it is acceptable?  Let me be clear, I know a4cwsn is not the only person(s) slinging mud.  I don't think anyone of us will or has tried to deny that we've gotten hot under the collar and lost our tempers a bit, facts are facts. You can't deny the truth.  Frankly, the only person I see trying to deny the truth would be a4cwsn.

Some of these woman have been threatened that a4cwsn would go after their livelihoods, their job licenses-yet I know particularly of one, who has not engaged him at all.

We have had our names publicly posted numerous times (including yesterday on my blog- the comment was removed by me, on facebook, and twitter again as well), and he has told people to watch out for scams from us.  I'd like to ask what scams exactly? We aren't collecting money from anyone for anything.  We are a group of special needs parents who support each other.  I'm having a hard time figuring out how that could or would be considered a scam ????

What is Cyber Bullying/Harassment?

What is cyber bullying and harassment? I am going to take some time today to show you exactly what it is.
First, let's go through the definition and all that fun stuff.
Linky-do and another Linky-do  and of course for you non link clickers

Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.[1] As it has become more common in society, particularly among young people, legislation and awareness campaigns have arisen to combat it.- Wiki of course!
Harassment by computer is a crime in several U.S. states (see computer crime). It is distinct from stalking in that stalking typically requires two or more contacts, whereas harassment by computer may be a single incident. It is also different from regular harassment, because the offence typically encompasses a range of crimes that would not be considered harassment if conducted in person.
Connecticut was the first state to pass a statute making it a criminal offence to harass someone by computer. Michigan, Arizona, and Virginia have also passed laws banning harassment by electronic means.[1][2]
Harassment by computer statutes are typically distinct from cyberbullying laws, in that the former usually relates to a person's "use a computer or computer network to communicate obscene, vulgar, profane, lewd, lascivious, or indecent language, or make any suggestion or proposal of an obscene nature, or threaten any illegal or immoral act," while the latter need not involve anything of a sexual nature. - Wiki link, obviously!

I have some more fun pictures to share with you all, so please get comfy and make sure you have your drinks and popcorn!  Two days ago, I put up a blog post (linky-do) Titled A Pattern of Deception?   The blog post is only facts.  No rumours, no hear say.  Lots of pretty pictures.  And I left it up to you, the readers to take from it what you want.
Since that blog post went up, the comments section has gone a little nutso. Which is okay.  I'm not heavy on the moderation, and none of the comments have been removed because well, I have nothing to hide so what would be the point?
Throughout the day I noticed a familiar IP address keep popping up in my email.  You see, I get a notification whenever someone posts a comment and included in that email is their IP address.  Anyone can look up an IP address. It doesn't give you anyone's name of course, but it gives you the area from which someone is posting, and their service provider.  Nothing really exciting.  Another linky-do. Soon, I realised I could link this IP address to a Gary James- ya know, the man behind the computer for a4cwsn.
The following screen shots are of the comments made by one Mr Gary James today on my previous blog post- oh ya, I forgot to mention that he's posting under an assumed name and not as himself.

Pretty Pictures

Now you're probably wondering how I'm able to connect the IP address shown at the bottom of all of these emails to him right? Well, ya see.  I was given this other email which shows his ip address in the email... from him.  Another pretty picture for you all...

And another pretty picture from one of the handy linky-dos posted above showing us where in the world is Carmen... err.. I mean, Gary James is posting from.

If you click on any of the above pictures they will become larger and you can read for yourself the comments that he's posting on my blog, or heck, just click on over and read it right there for yourselves. 

The whole point is, it doesn't seem to matter where I go, facebook, twitter, the blogging world, this dude is right there throwing obscenities at me, and some of my friends.  Yet, he sends ME emails about cyber bullying and tells me to pass it around? (You guessed it! More pretty picture on the way!)

As a side note, now I don't know about anyone else, but I keep seeing this pattern of behaviour.  You know, he calls people out on facebook- they can't respond because they're blocked, he takes down his twitter, and deletes posts from both of those sources,he has been posting on my blog as aspergersmom78, he hands his facebook page over to two woman for a month. Now I'm not saying a4cwsn has something to hide, but one has to wonder why a4 keeps hiding behind women?